Parenting plans are like a road map between parents so that they not only agree where they want to go but how to get there.

A custody agreement is usually two or three pages and addresses legal and physical custody, the child’s primary residence, and a brief co-parenting schedule.

A parenting plan goes into much more detail and addresses healthcare, education (schools, classes, tutors, special education), childcare/daycare, religious worship/training, detailed co-parenting schedules (daily, weekly, monthly, vacations, holidays, holy days), living situations (move-away, commuting, residents), sports (school/league/neighborhood), travel (permissions, locations, timing), financial (child support, tax exemption, add-ons), lifestyle (drug/alcohol/dating/sex) and much more.

Allowing your child to play football, hockey or other violent sport can either benefit or harm him, both emotionally and physically. It is important to hear all sides for what may involve conflicting interests.

 It is equally important that neither parent force a child to participate in sports that serve to model or redeem their own successes or failures in sports or even in life.

If the family can talk openly about wishes, desires and fears, these disagreements can be opportunities to speak about deeper issues.

 Since the family is in such transition, making decisions that acknowledge the family’s vulnerability can be an opening for healing.

It is critical that each family member has a voice and is allowed the time to explore and explain reasons behind a response. This means the decision making process includes really listening, valuing and considering each other’s perspective.

 Instead of saying NO! immediately to a request, leave the door open for discussion by saying, “Tell me more about why you want this.”

By discussing while designing the parenting plan  its important to remember, that this plan is meant to put the KidsFirst! not your own or worse to ‘get back at’ your ex.

We would appreciate any suggestions and comments that will improve both KidsFirst! parenting plan software and the KidsFirst! blog.

Henry Koltys