Abductions of children by a family member occur almost exclusively in instances of divorce, and when all lines of communication between two parents fail. This type of kidnapping is usually a reaction to dissatisfaction with a custody or visitation agreement. It is considered kidnapping once the abductor violates the custody or visitation agreement, regardless of the specific circumstances. For instance, family abductions range from the non-custodial parent keeping children overnight, to transporting the children out-of-state.

Belief that a child is safe when abducted by a parent or family member is the greatest misconception surrounding family abductions. Although reported instances of physical and sexual abuse are low in family abduction scenarios, studies show emotional trauma in children can be significant. In the past few years, all 50 states have enacted criminal statutes pertaining to parental kidnapping, or by custodial interference all which can be avoided .

Most abduction of children by a family member occurs during visitation exchanges or at the end of school vacations. Often, the issue is not the children’s whereabouts, but how to return them to the primary custodial parent.

Parents and caregivers looking for children should contact local and federal law enforcement immediately. Hiring a private detective, searching through school records, and alerting the media can be helpful in searching for a child abducted by a family member. Designing a safety plan in the case of abduction is imperative to include the local media. Have recent photos, all vital statistics and your paperwork in order to eliminate wasted time thereby slowing the search efforts.

Prevention

Parents and caregivers should develop specific strategies with their children that foster home safety. The Vanished Children’s Alliance recommends that parents and children learn and practice life-saving measures together. Some of the Alliance’s recommendations include:

Never leave your children unattended.

Children and caregivers should agree upon and use a “family code word”. Caregivers should teach children not to leave with anybody who doesn’t know the code, even if the child knows the person.

Children’s names should not be put on their personal belongings. By de-personalizing articles, parents and caregivers make it much more difficult for an abductor to befriend a child by calling him or her by name.

Children should never open doors, or answer the telephone when they are home by themselves; and children should understand they can say “no” to adults if they feel uncomfortable.

Always keep an updated Safe Child Plan on your child.

But now, in courtroom battles across the subcontinent, in cases brought by slum dwellers and outsourcing workers and millionaires alike, Indians are fighting in growing numbers to divorce. And as words like “alimony,” “stepchild” and “pre-nup” start to roll off Indian tongues, many observers bemoan a profound metamorphosis of values in a nation trotting toward new affluence.

“The great Indian family is definitely under threat,” said Shobhaa Dé, the author of “Spouse: The Truth about Marriage” and one of India’s most widely read social chroniclers. Dé, herself divorced and remarried years ago, described the new ethos as “unthinkable to an earlier generation.”

Consider the microcosm of Mumbai. Since 1990, around the time that India opened its gates to the world, the annual number of divorce petitions filed in Mumbai has more than doubled to reach 4,138 in 2007, far outpacing population growth, according to data culled for this article from musty, hand-kept records at the city’s family court.

Or, to put it more vividly, Mumbai made divorcés of 30,000 more people in those 17 years than it would have had the annual rate of breakups held at the 1990 level.

Such detailed data are not compiled at the national level. But, according to a study of 2001 census data by two Indian demographers, Ajay Kumar Singh and R.K. Sinha, Mumbai’s divorce rate – with about 7 percent of marriages failing – is roughly on a par with that of other metropolises and not much higher than the national level, offering a reliable gauge of the national trend.

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Without a doubt, one of the scariest times for a parent is when their child learns to drive. Thoughtful parents try everything to ensure that your child is a safe driver and safe with another adolescent driver.

Check different driver schools, driver safety websites and high school programs to determine the best way to teach driving and safety.

Talk with your state highway patrol about where to view cars involved in fatal accidents and take your child there to see them. Almost everyone knows someone who lost a loved one or friend in a car accident.

Have your child talk with that adult to hear what it means to lose someone that way. Many police departments offer a “ride along program” to take teenagers on rides during patrol. Be creative!!!

Children must understand that driving a car is like wielding a loaded gun and perhaps even more dangerous because others on the road can harm or kill you. A parent must do everything possible to protect the child then let go and pray that she will not be one of the 6,000 teenagers (27 % alcohol related) or 40,000 people killed by cars each year in the U.S. see, http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov and http://www.hwysafety.org/safety_facts/fatality_facts/teens.htm

Here are some good rules of thumb.

First, a car should be a very safe car, whether old or new.

Second, drinking or drugs or other activities that impair perception or ability to drive should be forbidden, subject to denial of driving until 18 because that is the punishment most state law will impose. Remind them that drug and alcohol testing kits are available and if it comes to that, you will suspend their driving privileges before the police. If your state does not have rules about driving and cell phone use, loud music and the number of passenger in the car, consider imposing these conditions for at least six months to one year.

Letting your child get behind the wheel will take some deep breathing and patience. Be consistent about enforcing your rules and also remember you were once in the same situation, so don’t impose rules that are not fair just because your own parents did so.

Rules do matter when it comes to driving so the first rule is to teach your child to drive defensively by you own driving is the best way to avoid or limit risk and injury that comes with driving.

What is the right age to allow your child to get his ‘permit;?

Allowing your child to play football, hockey or other violent sport can either benefit or harm him, both emotionally and physically. It is important to hear all sides for what may involve conflicting interests.

 It is equally important that neither parent force a child to participate in sports that serve to model or redeem their own successes or failures in sports or even in life.

If the family can talk openly about wishes, desires and fears, these disagreements can be opportunities to speak about deeper issues.

 Since the family is in such transition, making decisions that acknowledge the family’s vulnerability can be an opening for healing.

It is critical that each family member has a voice and is allowed the time to explore and explain reasons behind a response. This means the decision making process includes really listening, valuing and considering each other’s perspective.

 Instead of saying NO! immediately to a request, leave the door open for discussion by saying, “Tell me more about why you want this.”

By discussing while designing the parenting plan  its important to remember, that this plan is meant to put the KidsFirst! not your own or worse to ‘get back at’ your ex.