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Without a doubt, one of the scariest times for a parent is when their child learns to drive. Thoughtful parents try everything to ensure that your child is a safe driver and safe with another adolescent driver.

Check different driver schools, driver safety websites and high school programs to determine the best way to teach driving and safety.

Talk with your state highway patrol about where to view cars involved in fatal accidents and take your child there to see them. Almost everyone knows someone who lost a loved one or friend in a car accident.

Have your child talk with that adult to hear what it means to lose someone that way. Many police departments offer a “ride along program” to take teenagers on rides during patrol. Be creative!!!

Children must understand that driving a car is like wielding a loaded gun and perhaps even more dangerous because others on the road can harm or kill you. A parent must do everything possible to protect the child then let go and pray that she will not be one of the 6,000 teenagers (27 % alcohol related) or 40,000 people killed by cars each year in the U.S. see, http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov and http://www.hwysafety.org/safety_facts/fatality_facts/teens.htm

Here are some good rules of thumb.

First, a car should be a very safe car, whether old or new.

Second, drinking or drugs or other activities that impair perception or ability to drive should be forbidden, subject to denial of driving until 18 because that is the punishment most state law will impose. Remind them that drug and alcohol testing kits are available and if it comes to that, you will suspend their driving privileges before the police. If your state does not have rules about driving and cell phone use, loud music and the number of passenger in the car, consider imposing these conditions for at least six months to one year.

Letting your child get behind the wheel will take some deep breathing and patience. Be consistent about enforcing your rules and also remember you were once in the same situation, so don’t impose rules that are not fair just because your own parents did so.

Rules do matter when it comes to driving so the first rule is to teach your child to drive defensively by you own driving is the best way to avoid or limit risk and injury that comes with driving.

What is the right age to allow your child to get his ‘permit;?

Allowing your child to play football, hockey or other violent sport can either benefit or harm him, both emotionally and physically. It is important to hear all sides for what may involve conflicting interests.

 It is equally important that neither parent force a child to participate in sports that serve to model or redeem their own successes or failures in sports or even in life.

If the family can talk openly about wishes, desires and fears, these disagreements can be opportunities to speak about deeper issues.

 Since the family is in such transition, making decisions that acknowledge the family’s vulnerability can be an opening for healing.

It is critical that each family member has a voice and is allowed the time to explore and explain reasons behind a response. This means the decision making process includes really listening, valuing and considering each other’s perspective.

 Instead of saying NO! immediately to a request, leave the door open for discussion by saying, “Tell me more about why you want this.”

By discussing while designing the parenting plan  its important to remember, that this plan is meant to put the KidsFirst! not your own or worse to ‘get back at’ your ex.